It has come to the attention of Our Hero that further adventures are expected, and their recountings made public at the whim of his audience. Not one to disappoint, it has become his solemn duty to 1) get into hijinks and shenanigans galore, and 2) tell all you busybodies about it. Unfortunately, the "adventures" of hiking a beautiful mountain, tasting traditional cuisine, and attending festivals have yet to happen.For now, you sorry sedentaries get to hear about my amazingly relaxing 5-day weekend. It was... lethargy at its pinnacle. What did I do? I ate. I slept. I watched bootlegged DVDs. Kung Fu Panda [or it's Eastern Brother Кунг-Фу Панда] was of amazing quality, both Movie- and bootleg-wise. Kudos to Dreamworks, and the Black Market for making this viewing possible.
Really, though, before you guys get all "what the heck, why didn't you GO somewhere on your vacation??!", let me share some thoughts. First off, my Korean, though improving, isn't anywhere near travel-worthy yet, at least not to the non-bucket-hats-and-camera-neckstraps destinations. Secondly, all of those destinations are full at the moment. Korea has this wonderfully efficient way of vacationing: all of the major corporations send their employees on vacation during the same couple of weeks. This is why I passed on invites to Pusan, a trip to Nami Island, and touring Korean vacation destinations in general.
Thirdly and finally, the weather kinda blew until just this morning. Today was a non-humid, 80ish day with a breeze and a cloudless sky. I really should have taken pictures. Unfortunately, I left my camera inside when we went "hiking" [really, if it's all staired and squared, can you call it hiking?] up a lush green hill, only to find a veritable outdoor gym at the top. There were elliptical machinces, Gazelle-esque walkers [a la Tony Little, but with stern-faced Koreans replacing steroid-induced crazy eyes], bars, rings, complicated self-lifting machines, and, Korea's National Gym Machine, the Twist-thingamabob. Imagine a little circular platform that you can rotate on. Now add handles for stability. Now, multiply by 20 and add brightly colored, middle-aged Koreans, Chubby Checkering their hip flexors into oblivion. God only knows if/how/why this exercise works, but I suspect it began as a practical joke of some kind, or as a bet between infomercial producers. In a gym in Korea, it's pretty ridiculous. Being ambushed by a squad of the smooth gyrators on top of a hill, in the middle of a hiking trail... "surreal" doesn't quite do it justice.
Other highlights of the vacation and past month [?! really? dang.] include:
- Singing karoake [noraebang in Korean] with former roommate Tom [+ a British Tom]. There were epic moments [Take On Me], ridiculous moments [dragostea din tei] , and video-captured moments [Wonderwall]. Also, when a second venue tried to charge us 20 bucks for singing, and another 19 for THREE CANS of beer [each valued at approx. $1.50], we opted for billiard instead, where I, using a two-fingered purple spandex glove, did Lay Down the Law of Pool Supremacy 5 games straight. Roommate Tom did Lay Down the Law of Scratching on nearly every shot, including one that went clear off the table.
- Imbibing non-crappy beer at a Medieval Themed brew-pub, with three variants of European Beer. It had shields, swords, coats of arms, and an 8-foot tall projector screen with the a live Pussycat Dolls concert. For The Authentic Tasting of Europe indeed!
- A non-PG13 story, in which one of my students loudly mispronounces the Scandinavian name Knut, to stunned silence on my part. I thought I recovered well, though, with "........ not quite. I think it's pronounced, 'Newt', not... it's 'Newt'. Good job."
- Debating the merits of cannibalism with a class full of precocious 5th graders. Most discussions ended in "... chaos. And like, zombies. ZOMBIE CHAOS! Can I go to the bathroom?"
And that's all the news that's fit to print. Join us next time, when Our Hero ventures to far-off lands on the weekend after getting a substantial paycheck!
- K
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