OUR HERO finds himself in a bit of a predicament, the likes of which may only be appreciated by the more videogamerish among you: buy the Nintendo DS or the Playstation PSP? Both have their merits, their problems, and share an order-of-magnitude price similarity, but I find myself leaning towards the DS. I can wangle one for two hundies, replete with hard case, travel bag, and the illegal R4 chip chock full of cracked DS games and gizmos. The drawback? It'll be programmed in Korean. The upside? I'll have a real reason to learn Korean.
As may be dawning on you even now, I, in a fiberlicious effort at regulation, have taken to blogging about what can be called, for lack of a better term (and in keeping with the spirit of the digestive metaphor), regular crap. No witticisms promised herein, thereunto, heretofore, and other ridiculous amalgamations. Come on, insofar as, you're almost there.
Anywho, I'm at work, done preparing today's lessons, and in between classes at the moment. I've spent the past thirty minutes catching up on other people's blogs, when it occurred to me -- no offense intended -- that I shouldn't limit myself to multiply edited, overwrought nuggets of Koreana; I could write about the wobliness of my elbowskin, and neither you nor the world could stop me...
Sometimes, my inner villain manifests itself in mysterious ways. Epidermal musings aside, my Machiavellian lobe hasn't gotten enough play lately, and it seems you are to bear the brunt of my machinations blogwise.
If this post has a chance of redemption, especially from the ever emo-izing abyss of meta, it would be in the newly formed yet already auspiciously titled:
"Chronicles of the Korean Classroom!" ("classroom, classroom, classroom...")
The following represents a cross-section of daily life among the ani- er, children.
* While filling in for another teacher, I have trained her kids to stop saying "yay!" when they get a question right, replacing it with a rather stuffy round of "huzzah!" This was done completely for my own amusement.
* One kid didn't do his homework for the third week running. So I made him do a wall-sit. Koreans are amazingly adept at squatting everywhere, but the wall sit's impossibility to the Korean is alluded to by a complete lack of anything resembling a rear end in the majority of the population. Hence, when 30 seconds later, the kid's legs started shaking, I could tell he'd learned his lesson.
I'm pretty sure the next 90 seconds, however, were for my own amusement. There's something to be said for making the lesson stick, but the day's lesson was "plausible deniability," though I may have forgotten to mention it.
* Lest you think me too cruel to my charges, let me leave you with this gem: there's something called Ddong chim. I have so far managed to avoid it, but not by the grace of good children. Our Hero acquires catlike reflexes where his rear iris, to purloin a phrase, is involved in a direct capacity. The irony of the attempted Ddong chim-ing on Pepero Day, a holiday created for the giving and receiving of chocolate covered sticks (Korean Pocky), was not lost on Our Hero.
That's all for now. I may have crossed a line or two, but I like the metaphorical cohesion, vis-a-vis fecal imagery, and will gladly accept the admonitory email from the 'rents in exchange for the one or two true connoisseurs of meta-crap-meta-crap.
I leave you with a brief AIM exchange:
Julie: The speakers said that you can't be a surgeon if you'd rather be Jackson Pollock.
And to be honest I'd rather be Jackson Pollock.
Me: Good to know those are mutally exclusive. Except, possibly, for a singular intersection at haruspicy, but I'm hoping that's not what they meant.
- K
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